Winter brings…the Needy and the Angry

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So….I’m back to the beginning again… No longer a tourist, or a commuting traveler to the city weekly for business….as you guess, I am now living in New York City. My company managed to relocate me to New York City from St. Louis, Missouri in early 2011. Prior to this, I lived in my own home, then a great loft in Soulard (St. Louis), then half in a room with a Hoarder in New York City, then to a studio apartment on the Upper East Side that is no more than 400sq. feet, yet costs in rent way more than my mortgage and more than double the rent of the large loft in St. Louis.. Yeah, but I’m living in the Big Apple, this is the place where people tell you that your apartment size doesn’t matter because the point is never to stay home and to take advantage of what this incredible city has to offer and get out.. “Your apartment is only an extension of your closet!”… I always loved that explanation and, yes… I’ve used it myself…several times.

I’ve gone a few months since the Producer left the stage and decided that it was time to try to attempt dating again in New York City…

In comes the young, determined, bright Attorney on the rise… he was a nice kid, yeah… kid. We had almost 8 years between us and he was quite tall, handsome, nervous with me and out to impress. I’ll never forget when we met at an old Speakeasy in Soho that was serving specialty cocktails… we sat across one another talking… learning about one another…he was delighted when I walked in and commented that I appeared so much better in person.. He couldn’t get close, because he was seated across the table…so, as the night progressed, he managed to get me to try multiple special cocktails, and then talk me into going to grab dinner…where he couldn’t wait to kiss me. He was a nice guy, and we had a great night, but the fact that he lived in New Jersey, and was too young for me was a deal breaker. I never saw him again, but he called and etc. a few times… it just faded away…
I managed to keep up the dating circuit and managed to meet the “Angry” guy…This guy was a special case, we met in person, very curt, to the point after Thanksgiving… we talked like in an interview, he was attractive, we shared a pizza, ordered drinks… he wanted to “share” a drink. Now, one thing that you need to know about me is that, “I’m not one that like’s to share food, drinks or much of anything else”.

This was odd..”Let’s share a margarita?” After all, we were at an Italian restaurant in the Union Square area and I’d been drinking red wine? Who wouldn’t think a Margarita was a beverage of choice in an Italian establishment. In addition, Who shares a Margarita? We aren’t girlfriends..There were some red flags in the evening, like we had to pay with a cashier, I had my own check and well, he paid for a few items, the sharing of a drink, I understand sharing a pizza, but a drink? Then, he proceeded to ask me to come over Sunday to watch a football game at his place and he would cook us dinner and etc. somewhere in Hoboken, New Jersey. Hmm…. I’ve never been there… how bad can it be?!?

Sunday comes around and almost 2 hours later, I make it to the frosty pier of the Path train and am wondering the streets of Hoboken looking for this guy’s apartment… I hadn’t eaten because I was going to eat at his place… or so, I thought.

So, I get there… he doesn’t text me…or answer the phone, I’m lost. After waiting on a street corner in the cold December afternoon, he finally calls and directs me to where he lives… He lives in a small apartment, not much furniture… very guy like.

When I ask about food, he hands me a beer and told me that he has bought an “eggplant?” to cook for us. Then, I ask if he has a recipe. And it goes downhill from here… He managed to sift through dirty spices, an old pan and attempt to cut up and fry pieces of eggplant that were heavily seeded, sour and oil soaked in awful…. Meanwhile, I scream as I see 2 Mice walk across his apartment into his bedroom. At this time, he yelled at me like I was in the wrong for being alarmed with the rodents running across the room…as if this was normal. Hmm….

Considering that I had a 2 hour commute back home, the place was infested with rodents, I was starving and it was a school night, I managed to leave Hoboken unscathed, starving and got home… never to see either Hoboken or that guy ever again. He remained in touch, kept calling, emailing texting until I ultimately asked him to lose my number and never contact me again. As the temper got even worse and I unknowingly found out that no one in his family spoke with him, he lost his job and didn’t see why he was being shunned with his behavior….very bizarre. When I had tried to advise him of the situation in a different light, I was privy to see his other half… Mr. Hyde… The Angry fella that he erupted into quickly. He verbally assaulted me and that was it.

He managed to send me crazy texts 6-8 months later, even called me a year later and wanted to speak with me… needless to say, I replied nicely, but did not re-engage any conversations as he’d tried to attempt. He was nuts.

The Producer… aka Broadway…or Hollywood…

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So, my initiation to dating in New York City was not the typical transition, I aimed high in the Big city with Bright Lights… I landed a Broadway Producer to charm the pants off of me… literally.

As all good things must come to an end, we had our ups and downs… months of texts, stolen phone calls, and then he would just “appear” in NYCity and expect me to come running, drop everything.. see him between interviews with journalist’s, show’s and etc. You see, it was doomed from the beginning, as we lived in different dimensions.. I, the girl with the 9-5 job and he didn’t generally start his day until later, and then wouldn’t get out until after midnight. We met in dark corners of hotel bars, lounges, dinners in amazing places, I have seen the most amazing hotel’s in NYCity and most of his room’s had bigger bathroom’s than my entire apartment. Now, I know what it sounds like, but we also met for coffee and yes, he came to my tiny studio on Sunday morning one time pleading with me to stay in his life.

The last time that I saw him, he came to my place, we had an amazing talk, great evening together before he had to fly back to London… and I woke up to a note saying that he would be back in New York City in 3 weeks and would like to have dinner with me.. someplace “nice” xxx. Three weeks turned into months….

He managed to text me over the holidays simple smiley faces, or “xoxo, xxx” and etc.

I never saw him again, but I occasionally receive text messages. He’s now a very successful movie producer.

Broadway…

So…it’s 2010 and I’ve been traveling to NYC on business for a year…let’s see how much that I can capture from my memory..

I’m traveling here, living out of a suitcase, airplanes, coach seating.. some aisle, window and a few middle seats trying to schlep back and forth for business.. always searching YELP for the best restaurant closest to the hotel, checking out a bar here and there…reading a book over a glass of wine and trying not to “cramp the style” of my friends that live in the city with my constant evening adventures in search of my dinner..

One night, I was traveling and they couldn’t find me a hotel any where close to the office in Midtown East and placed me in a god awful hotel room in Times Square with paper thin wall’s, if I spanned my arm reach.. I could touch the wall’s and I actually had a SINGLE bed.. and, get this.. to watch the HUGE 60” flat screen tv, I had to lever it and swing it from the side wall above the bed. Yeah, high class, baby.. Did I mention that I was in Times Square?!?!? Well, not only was I in Times Square, my paltry excuse for a hotel room with the single bed, which was somewhat similar in size to a closet that I once had…I realized that I also was in the back of the building and directly next to a famous Broadway show with loud music, of which I could hear while I was in the room 2 times a night.. LOL.  Now, who will complain about the free show from the hotel closet that my company was paying a great deal of cash for?!? Hmm.. My bathroom happened to be larger than the bed actual room, which was extremely odd.

Either way, I found the greatest little Italian restaurant from my nightly scavenger hunt for dinner. The place was always crowded with the Broadway crowd and I perused up to the bar to get nice glass of Super Tuscan to wash down my Caprese Salad..followed by their Penne Arrabiatta, which reminded me of my many visits to Italy…This place became a staple dinner to me in the city during my travels.

One night a month or so later, I walked late out of the office, back to the stuffy hotel that I was staying in Midtown East and craving the same dinner experience… I traveled through the streets of midtown in a casual outfit back to my Italian place… to an empty bar to get dinner.

As I was sitting there… enjoying my wine.. I noticed someone staring at me from the front of the restaurant outside.. I knew immediately that he was coming in to sit next to me.. Again, empty bar.. me, bartender.. you get it.

Long story short, within 5 minutes, he’d taken the seat next to me.. not even a chair between..drummed up a conversation and had talked me into coming into the 2nd half of the Broadway show next door. He walked me in himself, gave me a 2nd row seat and told me that he wanted me to “text him after to tell him how the show was and if I disliked it, he would refund me the money of the ticket!?” Yeah, the very one that I didn’t pay for.. then brought me a beer to watch and enjoy the show..  I thought to myself, “Wow, NYC is AWESOME!!”..

Anyway, the show was amazing, I was up dancing, laughing, singing and soon realized that the show was the VERY SAME SHOW that I’d heard 2X a night earlier during my stay in the tiny hotel room from hell.

Did I mention that I also worked for a tyrant who was not only calling my cell phone at 11pm at night during the show to get me to call a candidate?!?! Yet, was also incessantly texting me while I was there..so, when I walked out.. I was standing amongst the brazen dirty remnants of Times Square on the phone next to the ragamuffin version of Elmo and Smurfette returning call’s…and completely forgot to text the guy, who happened to be the Producer of the Broadway show!?lol

Either way, afterwards, I did text.. he invited me out for drinks, but I had an early morning, “Thanked him” and declined. HE then texts.. “How about a PROPER date tomorrow night?”

Now, how does a girl turn this down, knowing that I would have to determine where my dinner plans would take me any way….this helped with that situation, so I accepted.

At this moment, I was thinking… NYC is Magical…. And it still is. Yes, I went out with the Producer, met him several times thereafter before realizing that his reality and mine were on two very different realities. We became very close & connected on occasion…however, all that glitters is not gold. *remember this

However, it was a neat experience…there is WAY more to this story… however, I’ll be very clear that all names in this blog will be considered fictional…. umm… yeah.. here is the line: 

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

What dreams may come?

My Dating stories prior to NYC…and we all come to NYC to fall in Love, right?

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Outstanding dating stories over my many years of spinsterhood, singlehood, singleton..what ever..

1.) I met one guy for drinks and he didn’t look anything like his photos online. When I met him for a drink, he was not only snapping/waving his arms at the bartender at a quaint Tapas bar/restaurant on a week night, he started to ask the bartender questions when she did come by. Questions asked were: “What’s with the hair?” , “With your tattoo collection, what kind of school’s did you attend?”, Hmm.. Let’s just say, I was extremely embarrassed and well, then he started commenting on my cleavage and asking me what bra/cup size that I was. That date actually tried to kiss me at the car. I honestly was appalled, not only by his behavior, but by his lack of tact and obvious misrepresentation of himself in his profile/photo.

He kept sending me email’s/text msgs apologizing after the date.

2.) One guy that I met for drinks.. kept moving my chair closer & closer to his every time that I would go to the restroom. Then, he kept groping and grabbing at my clothes, trying to touch my legs/arms/hair, while we were at the bar and I was not into the guy at all. He kept asking me out, telling me that he was “definitely attracted to me”. I finally told him about the groping and etc. was not cool, and he asked me out continuously, but I never agreed. This guy sent me an email the other day explaining to me how he had a “Natural Attraction” to me and wanted to get together again to try not to touch me… yeah, I opted not to see him again.

3.) One guy ate with his mouth open and kept talking and spitting, then I watching a game. He had a problem with eye contact when talking, the food never came off of my shirt that he spat at me. (j/k)

4.) Another took me a place to have pizza, asked me to get the pizza and he would pick up another time, then took me to a bar to watch him play pool, where he insisted that I drink the type of beer that he liked and not what I wanted? (Strange date).

I was stuck there, couldn’t ditch him, the place was too small. He is a nice guy, but it didn’t manage to work out…wonder why?
5.) I met another guy and he seemed semi normal when I talked with him.This guy was very, very strange and had several unresolved issues that I didn’t care to figure out what they were.Ok. We talked on the phone and agreed to meet for Happy Hour at a place close to my office after work. He called me on his way there and I told him that I would be there shortly, however, being in HR, sometimes issues occur, which are not always convenient to your schedule that you have to attend to.
So, I don’t recall what the HR issue was, but I was running late, so I called and let him know that I would be leaving the office in about 15-20mins and apologized.
When I got to the meeting place, he was strategically sitting facing a strange way away from me, at first, I was flustered and didn’t notice. He was really uptight. So, I sat there and ordered a beverage. This is when it got interesting.
He actually started “grilling” me about why it took me 18 minutes from the time that I called him and the time that I arrived, when my office was located across a highway from where we met?
I explained traffic, getting out of the office and etc., yet this was not enough, he kept at it. Then, I ordered another drink, and he started in again on “We agreed to meet at 5:30pm, I don’t understand why you didn’t leave earlier to be here on time.” Again, I explained that my position does not always allow me to leave on time when I have an employee issue and etc. He still didn’t get it or move on to a different subject, even when I tried.
Finally, after listening to this for 45mins, and 2 beers, I was ready to go. He actually ended with, “Well Heather, I think that this went really well, let’s set up another date for next week?” Mind you, when he said this, my face must have said it all. I thanked him.

He still called. I cannot recall his name, but I do remember that when I finally saw him move sides, he had a lazy eye, which was interesting enough for me…otherwise, it could have been a mask…not sure.. I ran.

5. ) Ok, you will like this one. When I started the online dating, I met this guy that I met for coffee and we hit it off in conversation and personality. He was fun, and seemed fairly bright and witty. However, when ever we met, it was rushed, so that I had to be some place or he did. We met for lunch one time, a drink once, and no kissing, just talking and phone calls/emails/IM’s. I had traveled with work a few times, so had he, then I had family in town, friends come visit and etc, so I was never available for weekends for about a month. Plus, I was volunteering one weekend, I guess. So, finally, after all of my visitors and traveling, it was coming to a weekend and I didn’t hear from him. So, he called me Monday morning, as I was driving to work to see how I was, and I joked with him, “Fine, How was the wife and kid this weekend? Keep you so busy, that you couldn’t call me?”

Needless to say, he made up some excuse, but later in the day via IM asked me how I felt about married me and if I was “into” them? Then, I was pretty blunt with him.. he came clean that he was in fact married, with a 2yr old and unhappily married to his college sweetheart, but would be getting a divorce and etc. blah.. blah.. blah..

The guy kept calling me, even called me with his kid in the car. I finally explained to him in a not so nice way that he needed to leave me alone.

This guy is still online and called me at odd hours this weekend and then, sent me an email on Monday morning asking me, “How was the sex on Friday night..who were you with?” .. I replied, “Excuse me, Aren’t you still married? How is your wife/kid?”

6.) I met another guy for a drink that I met online and we had a great time talking and sharing stories.. when he got off the bar stool to go to the restroom, he was about  4ft tall. Technically, he may have been a dwarf, I am not sure. He definitely shopped in the children’s section of the store…

7.) Then there was the power-hungry young CEO that I went out with..who picked me up with a car service and took me to a fancy rooftop for drinks/dinner. When we got to the venue and the guy who was driving us let me out, I said, “Thank You” and the guy that I was on the date with said, “Don’t Thank Him, He is our help..I paid for him to just be silent and do his job!” (Ok, you’re obviously not the man for me).

Then, the conversation was good, yet he managed to belittle everyone that he could in my presence, then on the way to my house, driving through my neighborhood he goes, “I could never live in an area like this, it reminds me of where I lived starting out..which is pathetic?”…

Hmm.. What in the hell? This is a first date and yes, he asked me out again.. yet, I had already determined that wasn’t going to happen..

Ok, after rehashing my dating stories, they are hilarious, yet somewhat disappointing; however, I have remained optimistic through all of it and then, I moved to NYC for a new job.. traveling.. and have since met some gem’s…and the story continues… after being in the city 3 years.. I’ve been urged by many of my friends to share my stories about my daily life.. as it’s somewhat of a carnivale… yes, that’s the best description for my many experiences that I’ve encompassed here during my years living in Manhattan.

Even through the trials of kissing many frog’s, I have always believed that my prince is out there….and I will find love in the city that never sleeps..

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There were so many more.

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